We interrupt your regularly scheduled Asian noodle post

OK, this was originally going to be post about an Asian noodle dish that I stumbled across in the "Recipes" folder on my computer. There were a few little warning signs here and there, like the fact I had failed to note where the recipe came from, or that the file name was called "Dan Dan Noodles" but the text called the dish "Sichuan Noodles." But I was in the mood for Chinese noodles, so I pressed on and made the dish, taking photos throughout the process so I could share it with y'all. 

And then I sat down and ate it. And it wasn't very good. It wasn't horrible, mind you. Just kind of blah and uninspired. The sort of thing that I would not want my culinary reputation hanging on. And while it wasn't an ordeal to put together, it required a fair number of ingredients that I don't always have on hand. So with a great sigh and much cursing, I decided to scrap it, at least for now. Anyone who wants to share a good recipe for Dan Dan Noodles (which was what I was in the mood for in the first place), please email me or paste it into the comments below. 

Edible Harlotry

Yes, yes, I know that the name “Pasta alla Puttanesca” means “Pasta in the style of a prostitute,” or “Harlot’s pasta,” or (in the words of Nigella Lawson) “Slut’s Spaghetti.” Take your pick. Most cookbooks that feature this recipe give you some whimsical nudge-nudge-wink-wink explanation for the name. The most ludicrous, to my mind, are the numerous books that claim Italian prostitutes would attract clients by preparing this dish. Because that’s what men go to brothels for—the cooking.

Ceci n’est pas houmous.

Did you catch my painfully eloquent reference to Belgian surrealist painter René Magritte? This is what happens when you let your children major in the humanities; they use their obscenely expensive education to make arcane jokes on a food blog. I’m a cautionary tale, people—don’t let your children learn to appreciate a standard of living that they will never be able to afford.

Duck a l'orange, Revised Multicultural Edition

We return to the works of Nigella Lawson this time, with a rather nice way to deal with a duck breast. Several stores in my area carry frozen duck breasts, and although they’re not cheap, they’re affordable enough that I can indulge in them from time to time. However, the duck breast isn’t mandatory by any means—indeed, before I lived in a locale where duck was readily available, I used to make this recipe with a nice little strip steak, which works beautifully. A tuna steak will also suffice should you prefer to avoid red meat altogether. If you wish to avoid animal protein entirely, I suspect that a Portobello mushroom, marinated and grilled/broiled would work reasonably well, although I confess I haven’t tried it myself.

Pan Bagnat

 

I decided it would be nice to make something a bit more summery this time, since we are finally starting to get warmer weather around here. This is my take on Pan Bagnat (sometimes spelled Pan Bagna), a meal-size sandwich from Provence. There are a lot of different versions of this sandwich, some of which involve potatoes, or green beans, or olives, or hard-boiled eggs, and various other elements native to the south of France.

I don’t remember exactly where I first came across a recipe for Pan Bagnat; I do know that it was from a magazine article rather than from a sojourn in Provence. Tant pis. But this is the version I’ve been making for years, and it suits my taste, even if I can’t verify its authenticity. But to paraphrase something JC once said, the thing to do is serve it forth and proclaim that yours is the one and only true version. So once again, no “original” recipe here, but you can head over to Epicurious or other recipe websites if you want to learn of other versions. Mine is the only true one, though. 

Pasta with Gorgonzola

This is a little something I dreamed up while visiting my local Italian deli. As I am prone to impulse buying where food is concerned, I picked up some Gorgonzola Dolce (a softer, creamier take on the standard, more aged Gorgonzola cheese), some pancetta, and some pasta. This was combined with some cream and some asparagus (health!) for a fairly quick little dinner. It’s not light fare, but the nights are still chilly here in the mountains, so hearty fare is not unwelcome. 

English Roast Potatoes

I’m back. Let’s pretend y’all are excited by this.

April is the cruelest month where my day job is concerned, so I’m just now coming up for air. Although I’ve cooked a few interesting things here and there, I haven’t had the time or the energy to write about them.

Until now.

Happy Kiss-Me-I’m-a-Drunk-Caucasian Day

As anyone who has seen me in person can attest, I am not of Irish ancestry. So when it comes to St. Patrick’s Day, I’m not that interested. I don’t wear green, or get more drunk than usual. Nor do I consume green-tinted beer, or green-tinted anything else, for that matter. 

Musings on Processed Foods, Special Equine Edition

Food has been in the news quite a bit over the last few weeks, and for the most part, the news has not been good. Horse meat, it seems, has found its way into a large number of processed foods, and is appearing in various European retailers labeled as beef in hamburgers, lasagne, Swedish meatballs (say it ain’t so, IKEA) and other products. There is a Trojan horse joke to be made here, but I’m far too classy to make it.

Vegetables, Roasted

Having celebrated Pancake Day (alias Mardi Gras) in the last post, we shall discuss something more abstemious now that we have entered the Lenten season. For the moment, anyway—self-denial is not really in my nature. Nor are the dishes I’m talking about today particularly ascetic. Not from a flavor perspective, at any rate.

I’ve never been all that wild about boiling or steaming things. There are obvious exceptions, of course—one has to boil or steam some starches, like rice or pasta. But I generally prefer to use so-called “dry” cooking methods whenever possible—sautéing, for instance, or baking, or roasting.