Happy Kiss-Me-I’m-a-Drunk-Caucasian Day

As anyone who has seen me in person can attest, I am not of Irish ancestry. So when it comes to St. Patrick’s Day, I’m not that interested. I don’t wear green, or get more drunk than usual. Nor do I consume green-tinted beer, or green-tinted anything else, for that matter. 

I’m not a total St. Patrick’s Day Scrooge, however. I’m more than happy to drink a Guinness or a Harp (combined today for a Black and Tan), and I’m very fond of potatoes, which have been the staple crop of Ireland since they were brought there from the Americas in the late 16^th century. I’m not a fan of Corned Beef and Cabbage, however, which is not (I am told) a dish actually eaten in Ireland. Furthermore, most of the times that I’ve encountered it, the words “boil for several hours” appear, which is rarely a good sign, culinarily speaking.

So I’m taking a different tack today. As I’ve already indicated, I am anything but an authority on matters Gaelic, so I am deferring to a native: specifically, Rachel Allen, who is a popular cookbook author and cookery instructor in Ireland and who is the daughter-in-law of Irish food legend Darina Allen. One of my favorite food blog sites, Serious Eats, picked Rachel Allen’s latest book for their Cook the Book feature. Rather than a single recipe, it was a complete meal, more or less: Homemade Sausages with Colcannon and Apple Sauce. Rather than reprinting the entire recipe (which can be found in Allen’s book, Favorite Food at Home), I’m linking to the Serious Eats page where I encountered the recipe.

A few things you should know up front:

First, I did not make the apple sauce. The apple I had planned to use for the apple sauce had gone the way of all flesh before I could get around to cooking it, and I am far too lazy to go to the store to buy one apple.

Second, although I followed Allen’s instructions closely for the sausages, I pretty much did my own thing on the colcannon. I have my own methods for preparing mashed potatoes and cooking greens, and that’s pretty much what I went with.

Third, I used kale rather than cabbage. So sue me.

Finally, I agree with Kate Williams from Serious Eats: this is a bit more effort than I would normally put in on a weeknight, and as noted, I didn’t even make the apple sauce. It wasn’t arduous, by any means, but it involved a lot of steps and a lot of dirty dishes—definitely not something I would attempt at the end of a long day. That said, the final result was very good, and worth making again.

So here we go. Let’s begin with the colcannon, a dish of mashed potatoes and cabbage. I’m using kale here, because it’s what I had on hand. Also, I saw Ms. Allen make this very dish on TV yesterday (she has a show that airs on PBS), and she suggested kale as an alternative. So I feel I have permission to go my own way. You could call it another lonely day, even.

I began by slicing a shallot and cooking it in a little butter over medium heat. Garlic would work, too, although since I was putting garlic in the sausages, I thought onion would be better here.

When the shallot was soft and lightly browned (you could use onion or scallion as well), I added the washed chopped kale, salt to taste, and a few tablespoons of water. Then I covered the pan, lowered the heat and let the kale simmer/steam until it was tender—probably 8-10 minutes, depending on how finally chopped your greens were. If you’re using cabbage, it might take a minute or two longer.

And while I’m thinking about cabbage, I’m thinking standard green cabbage or (even better) Savoy cabbage. I don’t think red cabbage will work here, as it tends to be tougher and require a lot more cooking. Sliced or shredded Brussels sprouts should work, though, should you happen to have some. 

But I digress. While you’re doing that, you should cook and mash some potatoes, adding, to paraphrase Julia, as much butter, cream and/or milk as your conscience will permit. I forgot to take pictures while doing so, but I’m guessing most of you have already mashed a potato or two before. Basically, you boil them in salted water until tender, and then mash with whatever mashing implement suits you (I prefer a potato ricer). Season with salt and pepper, and stir in butter and hot milk. Or cream if you are feeling indulgent.

Meanwhile, make the sausage: combine a pound (450g) of ground pork with a cup (50g) of fresh bread crumbs, some chopped herbs of your choice (I used a couple of sprigs of rosemary), a clove of garlic that you have minced, a beaten egg, and some salt and pepper. I also added a good slug of crushed red pepper flakes. 

Mix all of this together. Unless you are excessively squeamish, it’s best to just dive in with your impeccably clean hands; they’re much more efficient mixing tools than anything else in your kitchen.

I neglected to photograph this next step, but it’s essential: take a small spoonful of the sausage mixture, form a small patty or meatball, and sauté it over medium heat until cooked through. Then taste it, and see if the mixture needs seasoning (mine needed more salt and more red pepper flakes). You do this because the consumption of porc tartare is frowned upon by most health authorities. 

Then, using wet hands (again, this is not a recipe for the squeamish), roll the sausage into what Allen calls “oval shapes.” You could form them into patties if you find the phallic shapes unsettling. 

Allen has you brown the sausages in olive oil over medium-low heat for 12 to 15 minutes, turning pretty much constantly, until they are cooked through. Because I was impatient, and to simplify matters, I browned mine on all sides (about 5 minutes) over medium-low heat and then put the skillet into a 400F (200C) oven for about ten minutes. When they’re cooked through, mix your potatoes and greens to form Voltron colcannon, and serve them forth.

Here’s the result. Really quite satisfying on a chilly March night, preferably with a Guinness and/or a Harp. Sláinte.