Edible Harlotry

Yes, yes, I know that the name “Pasta alla Puttanesca” means “Pasta in the style of a prostitute,” or “Harlot’s pasta,” or (in the words of Nigella Lawson) “Slut’s Spaghetti.” Take your pick. Most cookbooks that feature this recipe give you some whimsical nudge-nudge-wink-wink explanation for the name. The most ludicrous, to my mind, are the numerous books that claim Italian prostitutes would attract clients by preparing this dish. Because that’s what men go to brothels for—the cooking.

Ceci n’est pas houmous.

Did you catch my painfully eloquent reference to Belgian surrealist painter René Magritte? This is what happens when you let your children major in the humanities; they use their obscenely expensive education to make arcane jokes on a food blog. I’m a cautionary tale, people—don’t let your children learn to appreciate a standard of living that they will never be able to afford.